Unravelling the Myth of German Efficiency (aka What the Schnell?)

So it's been a while since I've properly posted. I apologize for this, I am a bad person for not posting sooner, especially given my elation at finally achieving online status. I mean really it was only a 6 week process... And I'm told that's on the fast side. I'm sorry to be the one to say it, since I know it's probably some big secret we're all supposed to keep, but German efficiency is a lie. Lies I say! Service industry over here is something of a loose concept at best. And by loose I mean there is a slumbering sloth-like entity that is aware of the fact that money comes from somewhere and might do something to facilitate this.

I'd like to take the case study of my cable installation. Sometime in November I signed up for KabelBW, thinking that such a thing as high speed internet would be useful. Having seen the abundant adds featuring happy teutonic families gathered around the computer I was filled with naive glee at the prospect of no longer having to commute an hour to check my email. Thus, with the help of our team's administrator (to whom I basically owe I life debt for helping me get settled) I made the phone call. At the time I didn't think it odd that they'd not quoted me an install date...oops. A week passes, and then another. At which point I begin to wonder if I'd been forgotten about. A few calls later and it is determined that "oh well most installations take 6-8 weeks".

Six to eight weeks...let's think about this for a moment. Doesn't make much sense for a statewide provider looking to up their market share? So this process went on...and on. Come about late December, a week before I go home for the holidays in fact, I get a phone call asking if they can come on the 21st. Now at this point I was desperate for the simple convenience of home connectivity. They could have sent John Wayne Gacey to do the install provided I got a few balloon animals out of it. Regardless, of course the day they pick is the day I fly. So by this point we were looking at January 6th...whoopee.

So the 6th rolls around, and I dutifully await my installation, installer's info in hand. The appointed time comes and goes. A few more hours come and go. Winter turns to spring, new life begins...ok maybe not THAT bad. Bottom line is the installer got sick and there is only one other installer for my city and he was booked. That's right, two installers for all of Bad Cannstatt. Now for the non Stuttgart crowd, it's not like I live in the boonies. Quite the contrary the only people more central than me are either making more money than some small countries or are asleep on a bench in the main station. But yes, only 2 installers nonetheless.

Eventually, the debacle was resolved, but it still begged the question...how does this stay the norm? As a an upstanding commerce minded American, I immediately think customer service when I think about successful businesses. Not quite the same here. In conversing with some German friends, I was able to get some bare bones explanation of the service sector here. Essentially, there is a great incentive here for the formation of 'medium business' that exists at most at the regional level. Sure there are national chains in no small amount, but compared to the states especially there is a proliferation of small to mid sized service sector entities. Now why is this? Well, for one thing there is a large tax incentive to be self employed or to work for a small company. The amount you are required to pay into the system drops dramatically if you work for one of these smaller companies. Certainly from this perspective I can see why the system has a good thing going.

Now, having thoroughly put the system through the ringer, I will say it does an excellent job of providing diversity in commerce. I've seen more small restaurants in Germany than in any other country I've been to. The same can be said for stores of all other kinds. I guess at the end of the day I definitely support the entrepreneurial spirit, but there are those times when I wouldn't mind a faceless conglomerate to come do minor things like hook up my cable or bring the bill in a restaurant without my having to employ flareguns and bear traps.

So there, I have vented, life is good, and next time we get to discuss the fest. No doubt this will contain many, many entertaining stories most of which having to do with how I do in fact like it here when I'm not railing on the service industry.

Rise from your grave...

2008 is upon us and with it (hopefully) home internet access for me. What's that mean? More posts and uploading my backlog of photos. Jan 21 is the new install date, let us all join hands and beseech the heathen intertube gods for their help.